Friday, January 18, 2013

What I Would Say to My Younger Self

 Christmas circa 1984. A time when no one knew how to tame my hair and no one tried.


1. Learn to use gel or mousse. There is no need to wait til high school graduation to tame your thick, frizzy, curly hair. Alternatively, move to Pasadena. Our hair curls awesomely in dry heat.

2. Do not listen to anyone who says girls aren't supposed to be sarcastic or question others.  We do not exist solely to support others.  We are not a chair. Plus, you are plenty supportive. It is not being unsupportive to disagree with someone. Notice how said people always disagree with you, but, for whatever reason, that isn't supposed to reflect on them? Lamers.

3. Do not listen to anyone who says girls shouldn't have opinions or debate ideas/things.  This one goes hand in hand with my previous comment. At some point, you will leave your happy bubble of everyone encouraging you to have ideas and goals and meet people who feel that is unladylike.  They will tell you so. I suggest walking away. They are wrong, but they will never admit it. Also, if someone constantly tears down your ideas but loves to tell you how they brag about how smart you are to other people? That's weird. That's not endearing, nor does it make up for the aforementioned tearing down of your ideas. If they can't see why that isn't a positive trait, walk away.

4. Do your homework. Seriously. I know you had to get up before 6am to get on the bus, but you can nap AND do homework.  If something is hard to do, it doesn't mean you can't do it, it means it is hard. I'm not sure about calculus. Even if we did the homework, that might still have been elusive. It's probably fine that you spent all of class typing song lyrics into your graphing calculator.

5. Don't leave your Latin book where Max can eat it. He has already eaten a retainer, many of your Madame Alexander dolls (which you will still manage to sell on ebay years later ... people are really into rehabbing), and a jewelry box. Why would you trust him with a book you need to return to school? Don't.

6. And, of course, wear sunscreen. You can never wear too much sunscreen. Actually, don't just wear sunscreen, remember to reapply it. And put it on the backs of your legs. Those burn, too, you know. As do the tops of ears and your part. Honestly, you are one of the whitest people ever. Learn how to apply sunscreen properly.

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